Its 2 am in the morning and I’m just dosing off. My husband and kids are sleep. Everything around me is quiet. I jump up and look over at the dresser because my phone is going crazy with a buzzing, blue notification from Facebook messenger. I check the message and it reads “Hello beautiful, was just checking your profile and would like to get to know more about you.” I quickly scroll to this persons profile and Block them. You may say I’m mean, but if they had time to check my profile they would have noticed the word “married”. Even if I were not married and my status read single who says I wanted to talk to some guy off a social site.
The issues here are simple. It amazes me that social media has allowed a person’s confidence to shoot through the roof. Some of the guys who inbox and DM these women wouldn’t say two words to then in public. It also amazes me that people began whole affairs and love stories all based on an inbox. No, I’m not knocking how anyone meets, but It should raise the question “If you are in-boxing me for an intimate connection who else is on the list”?
The internet has its many pleasurable, and beneficial uses. However, some people are using these sites as a platform to cat fish. Who are you really talking to when engaged in a conversation with a person off social media? Is their profile picture real or is it photo shopped? There are endless questions with unsure answers.
I read this story about this one young lady who used Facebook to pay her bills. She would target certain men and build a relationship with them. They were wiring her large sums of money. Well, when the men wanted to meet she would slowly back away from them. She was milking them dry. She used only her conversation to get these men money. It seems that the internet has made many people lonely and desperate. So lonely that they are building fake relationships with people they don’t really know.
Dr. Phil also had an episode about a lady who built a relationship with someone in another country. This lady sent this man all her savings and ended up bankrupt. When Dr. Phil and her children asked her why she sent money to a man she had never met, her words were “I’m lonely.”
What ever happened to the old fashion meetings at the grocery store? This may not be the most effective way also, but at least you get an up close first impressionable encounter.
Tips to remember when dating online:
Don’t Be Surprised
You have to remember that you are meeting a person who was online. There is an old saying “You get what you get, so don’t throw a fit.” So if you meet a thirty seven year old man who lives with his parents and cant hold a job, it is what it is. That’s exactly what you need to keep in mind when dating a person online. Ask them about past relationships and how did they meet those people. Dig deep. Never be afraid to ask questions with people who you are developing romantic relationships with. If they can’t talk about their past then a future should not be built.
There may be others
The internet is addictive. People get addictive to online gambling, online video games, pornography and dating. You may find yourself dating a person who is a serial online dater down the line. They may have made multiple hook ups with many people. Keep an open eye.
Take it Slow
If you are really feeling the person on the other end of the computer screen start off slow with them. Go on dates that force you to get to know them such as, go around their family. Families sort of reveal peoples personalities. If the person is not feeling the idea of you meeting at least three people out their family they may have something to hide. If they don’t have family what about friends. If they don’t have at least two friends for you to meet then you probably want to run like hell.
Author Kim Elaine